I have an orthopedic doctor who thinks he's a stand-up comic. I know this because he practiced his routine on me during my last visit. It went a little something like this, "Ma'am, you need to lose weight. You should be the same size as you were at eighteen." I laughed for a good five minutes. Serious he may be, but that was 21 years and 10 pants sizes ago.
In the beginning I tried. I really did. But then those darn girl scouts with their cookies came around. How can you turn them down? I bought ten boxes. With each week I made a new promise to myself. This would be the week I get with the program. Each week brought awful pain in my knee and I chucked any sort of exercise routine that I planned on doing. Truthfully, I never really had any sort of exercise routine planned. I thought of dieting, but I just love food to much. That's where it would have ended if not for my husband. Though he's a skinny guy, and you wouldn't think it to look at him, his doctor ordered him on a special diet and twenty minutes of cardio a day. What I was to lazy to do for myself, I will undertake for him. All my plans for life require he be around for a few more years. At least.
So, we emptied out our kitchen pantry and restocked it with plenty of fat free, multi-grain items. And, we've joined a fitness club. My new effort at fitness involves an elliptical machine. I would be embarrassed to say the first attempt lasted a whole two minutes if I didn't find it so funny. The second time on the machine went a little better. I made it ten minutes before pausing the machine for a breather. Of course, any calories I burned off may have been replaced with the ice cream I stopped and bought on the way home. Who ever heard of putting a Dairy Queen right next to a fitness club, anyway?