Wednesday, August 18, 2010

School Of What If

They're baaaaack! 

Rumbling through the neighborhood, with little faces pressed against the glass and tiny hands waving good-byes, the school bus is back.  Must be the first day of school.  And, oh what a day it is.  One day with weeks of preparation and hype leading up to it.  Lots of money spent in honor of it.  It's Christmas without any presents. 

This morning I joined the throng of minivans and sedans outside my son's elementary school.  Time to give him over to another lady for eight hours of every weekday.  I've met the teacher and I like her a lot.  Still, the good-bye is bittersweet.  I send him off.  A small warrior clad in T-shirt, shorts and sneakers with a backpack hanging off skinny shoulders.  Marching in to battle the What Ifs.

What if I can't find anyone to sit next to at lunch?

What if no one will play with me at recess?

What if the teacher calls on me and I don't know the answer?

What if, what if, what if. 

Yet, it's hopeful a day too.  Anything could happen today.  Best friends could meet for the first time.  New games discovered.  New lessons learned.  These days are the days that I both love and hate as a mom.  I love to see him grow and learn as a human being.  I hate to see him nervous.  How I wish I could just go into his class and demand that these children love and accept my child.  How I hate to say good-bye to one more summer.  Most especially, I hate to say good-bye to another first day of school.  Each one only brings us closer to the time there will be no more first days of school.


  1. The kids here go back to school on Monday. I've been counting down the days for at least the last week. I kind of look forward to not being the activity director/taxi driver/banker/referee. Well the first week is heaven sent, then I get bored.

  2. OH I remember those days with the kids....Love your post. I hopped on over from Blog nice to meet you.

  3. To me it seems like the kids go back so early! Summer used to last til the day after Labor Day. Not any more.

    As for my son being in school again, it kind of makes me sad. But I do know what you're saying. When it's sleep over time at someone else's house for him I feel like I've been given a few hours of sweet freedom!

  4. Thank you Style Sisters, I appreciate it! Going to check out your blog now.
    Thank you Cyn, I appreciate your comments and following my blog. By the way I found you on blogfrog.

  5. Wish I could tell you it gets better as they grow up. My baby boy is 26yo and a county deputy, instead of shorts and a back pack it's bullet proof vests and a gun. I do a lot of praying about a whole different set of what ifs!

    Stopping by from Mom Loop, really enjoyed this blog and will be subscribing.

  6. Thank you marvimarti! If my son grew up to be a deputy I would feel both so proud and so nervous for him. I'm going to check out your site right now.