Things I do when no one else is around to see me:
Today, at work I dropped a big glob of yogurt on my shirt. No one was around so I sucked my blouse into my mouth and licked the yogurt off. Please, don't judge me. It was strawberry shortcake flavored and I couldn't help myself. So delicious.
When I'm driving in my car I often feel invisible to the rest of the world. That is why whenever "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus or "Kissin U" by Miranda Cosgrove come on the radio I not only turn the volume up to maximum, but will dance in my seat. I know, I know. They are teeny boppers and I am a mature woman. I shouldn't be a fan. But those darn little twinkies and their catchy beats get me every time.
On the rare occasion that I have the house all to myself I often resort to talking to my two dogs. That in itself isn't terrible or embarrassing. It's the fact that I pretend they've voiced a reply and then answer them, that borders on the ridiculous.
Sadly, I could go on and on. But, then doesn't everyone try to smell their own breath by breathing into their cupped hands. I can't be the only one. And if I am then I guess it's time I quit announcing it to the world.