Thursday, November 18, 2010

Dance Steps

The world is a buzz with wedding news this week, as the British are broadcasting a real life fairy tale for the ages.  The heir to the throne has asked a commoner to be his queen.  In the words of my local DJ, "Everyone loves a love story". 

This is true.  My family is living it's own love story.  This weekend, as people rejoice over Prince William's engagement news, my family will be rejoicing at my cousin's bridal shower.  Much like the royal couple across the sea, my cousin and his intended are of an appropriate age, intelligent, good looking, and have been dating for a few years now.  They certainly don't need any one's advice.  And, they haven't come to me for any.  Shockingly, neither have the Prince and his lady.  Of course, that's not going to stop me from offering up a seasoned pro's tips on how to achieve marital bliss.  Or, something close to it, anyways.

Very similar to a magic show is the wedding ceremony.  First, a person dressed in robes, much like a wizard, waves a hand, speaks a few words aloud and, Presto! an eruption of applause follows.  Only, instead of the appearing to cut someone in half and then putting them back together, he has taken two and made one.  The trick is in making it last.

In the midst of the tears, the applause, and the sounds of two hundred people taking to their feet, a song begins.  It is for the bride and groom and it is their cue.  Time to begin the dance that is married life. 

It's a very difficult thing to do, this marriage dance.  The steps are intricate.  It requires someone who is willing to get in there and learn the dance moves.  Missteps will occur.  Toes will get stepped on.  Someone will twirl when they should have dipped.  One of you will cha cha to the right when the other is stepping to the left.  At some point during the dance you will say to yourself, "I don't even like this type of music.  Can't we stop the song?"   

Keep those toes tapping as the music plays.  You will find the rhythm once more.  If you've stepped on your partner's foot, apologize.  Don't let a slip or stumble halt you in your tracks.  Move forward onto the next step.  Find a way to laugh at the little mess ups.  Come together and then fall back every once in awhile so your partner gets to perform their solo.  We all need our moment in the spotlight.  But, know that if you keep your partner waiting in the shadows too long they may spin right out of your reach.

A dance speaks a language all it's own.  Communication need not always be about words.  Sometimes, it's the eye to eye connection.  Sharing a smile.  The beckoning hand.  An arm around your back lending support and strength for the next move. 

A dance is exhilarating, breath taking, complicated and fun.  It requires a brave heart to step out onto the dance floor.  Keep your feet moving in the same direction and may you have the dance of your life.  


  1. Lovely thoughts on marriage! It really is the most difficult dance to execute, but beautiful to watch and perform if the dancers are enjoying themselves and you've got a good song.

  2. I've been dancing with my wife for over 38 years and I hope to dance with her until the day I die

    I hope you and your family have a Happy Thanksgiving Day.


  3. Wow, this was beautifully written! I love how you carried the dance metaphor through the whole text. Actually, dancing is pretty much the only hobby my husband and I share.

  4. Thanks everyone for your kind comments! I love dancing this dance with my husband and I hope everyone that gets out there on the dance floor has the same great time that we do.

  5. I love your dance metaphor, too! And your post was particularly relevant for me since my daughter, a professional ice dancer, was married in England in 2009! One of my favorite dances at the reception was the anniversary dance where my husband and I (now at 35 years), my brother and his wife (now at 38 years) and my parents (now at 58 years of marriage) got to stay on the dance floor the longest!

  6. Congrats to your daughter! A wedding in England sounds beautiful. I was a wedding photographer for about 12 years and the Anniversary Dance was always a favorite to photograph for me.